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Friday, July 21, 2006

~ 4:43 PM ~

Streaks of water flowed down her face like a squalid tap. It was lukewarm, distinctively like one being heated before. Tears inadvertently had fallen against her will though she tried hard to fight back. Heart-rending thoughts penetrated her clouded mind and her blood boiled.

She thought back to the day’s events.

It was Racial Harmony Day, a day where ethnic groups came together and pledged their loyalty to one another. On this especial day, the school was brimming with life as many were thrilled and getting involved in mixed dressing dynamically. She felt like a character in Sing to the Dawn, playing the active role of Darwan’s mother. It was a thought sparked off by her convivial English teacher that morning. The excitement rubbed off on her together with everyone else.

The mundane school life carried on like usual.

----

Just the night before, she had written in her journal the values of friendship. She found it all hard to accept that there was a law of life, the law that every one knew so familiarly as separation. “We come together only to go apart again.” Yet, “the law of life can’t be avoided.” Even her choice of seeking life in the world of mushrooms could bring no smile to her face. Her mind was the strongest opponent to fight off that instance.

She wrote that everyone needed friends. It was true, good friends led her through the darkest storms, though fair weather friends could leave her in times of need. Luck would bring her the best of friends and haplessness would bring fair weather ones. Despite that, everyone needs friends.

It is hard to be a good friend. Man never knew how to appreciate things when it is placed right in front of them. God had to punish them by letting them lose them. Perhaps she was wrong. It was a fiasco and she felt nothing more than a failure. She couldn't accept the fact that results surpassed friends. Perhaps they had different thinking lines all along.

Now, she feared to be alone. The chances of wild thoughts would spring and it was irresistibly hard to forget. She could only find joy in her friends’ laughter, but life had to go on.

She made a call for an affiliated task. When the subject was brought up, she felt tears well up in her eyes. At the same time, she saw what she did not want to see. Her mind went blank and her voice went hoarse, almost of its own volition. The call ended abruptly for she did not want the receiver to sense a tinge of sadness. She seemed blasé to the receiver, yet it was far from that. All she could do was stare into space, and let those tears act with gravity.

She had gone beyond herself this time. It felt like a repetition of those feelings which she had the year before. The things which she did, was somewhat beyond her usual capability. An attribute that nature has implanted in animals is instinct. This ability allows the brain to sense danger before it actually appears; at such a moment this instinct triggers a competence in completing a certain task.

Yet at times, those acts of heroism that human combine feelings and reason with, could have sent the wrong message. Her actions saw no fruit and all that she had found was callousness. She had set her benighted feet into a trap some years ago, only to come to realize she would be hurt in the end. It was utter disappointment.

She didn't think that friends could be seen as sources of distraction. It was simply ludicrous. She had a resolution to step out if that matters.

A snap back to reality and sadness turned to rage.

about.

+jaslyn
+ex-hips
+andersonian.
+victorian.
+1/3'03 2/3'04 3/7'05 4/7'06 07s56.
+31th Oct.
+scorpio.
+and.badminton.
+vjc badminton.

chAracTer.

Hi everyone. I should say you must be scrutinizing every part of my blog to be reading this arent you? Well, if you're that bored or interested in me, this is me you're looking at. Just a typical mundane human being living in this distorted world filled with what we call friends and foes. It's just me to get all maudlin and touchy about friendships and covalent bonds that i painstakingly built, and it's most dreading to realise what you call friends are actually fair-weathered ones and ditch you for others. You know.. that sort of ambivalent feelings which arises with such friendships. From young, my pedagogues have complained of me being temperamental and from there i have learnt and seen the world beyond me, where there happened to be people fairing far worst than i do. I realised in this period of isolation that life turns out to be happier for everyone if people knew how to be sate with life. It's just in the genes that human beings have to take things for granted and learn to appreciate things only when they have lost it. Sad isn't it?. I admit possessing that characteristic, which led me to losing what i should have treasured most, with great regrets. Now, like Krishna, we are inclined to seeking comfort from things that we are familiar with, unaccustomed to changes. It may not appear to be me on the outside, braving the winds of the outside world, strong and unbeatable. Like the saying goes, never judge the book by its cover, and i believe in that, in the way i credit people. We all treasure private space don't we?.. It's just human nature. And of course it most dreading to feel deserted by your friends isn't it.. ? To feel cheated and betrayed.. Well, live a sate life readers!

liKez.

+memories of the past..
+2/3'04.. where i met all of u..
+4/7'06.. the past.
+And. badminton.. where unity lies. love the ppl in it.. especially my batch of peers and the seniors!
+07s56 and jie-meis! the present.
+vjc shuttlers.. the domination of spasticity.
+you.

It's a whole new episode.

jas_rulez_70@hotmail.com

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wishes.

+united 07s56..
+~mORe mOre mOre neopRints~
+to be loved..
+true friends..
+to be with you =)..

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