Wednesday, August 31, 2005
~ 2:58 AM ~
hmz.. i gues i should start updating.. lest ppl think i hav an external blog or sth..
tomoro's teachers' day.. cant go back to alma mata.. gotta make chocolate tartt.. lols.. or could hav gone to hang out wif frens.. iznt that better than hanging out in some kitchen stirring flour and sugar, juggling chocolate chips..?.. haiz.. but we hav other intentions.. no choice.. everything like so unprepared.. cant imagine wad happens if the stupid tarts cant sell out.. arghh. basket why m i worrying so much. stupid. so wad if the tarts cant sell. not like the money goes to me. arghh.. y m i saying all these. stupid.
haix.. stress. stupid =.= stress wad?.. exam jus over stres wad? .. haix.. busy making plans for the next 3 days.. so sian. y cant i jus stay at home and sleep. haix. y m i hibernating already?.. =.=.. ok i noe wad caused this unforeseen mood change. i noe. must be that music on my bro's comp.. hai. such nice songs sets me thinking. and sometimes thinking of rubbish gets on the nerves..
hai. last sunday my bro was inanely bugging me with a reiterated phrase :" ehh my olevels endss tomoro~!!" as simple as it seems with no harm in content, but well it sure has impacted the little soul in me..
i realise i cant wait for the day when the Os are over. can u believe it?.. when i arent even sec 4 i cant wait for the Os to be over. doesn this show how horrifying the exams are?..
and the so many countless things that my bro has planned for himself, his future,.. sets me thinking.. wad on earth m i looking for?.. i wann to go overseas wif my frens.. like my bro's gg hongkong wif his frens... hai not fair. i cannot imagine next yr when my bro is free like a bird and i m still sloggin for the next 10 months or so. haix. when will our misery as students end?.. the only slightest encouragment for myself is that i m not alone. nev. everyone else will be slogging like me.. at least for my bunch of frens..
read from sm's blogg.. wher the few of them were discussing wad their ambition is.. and i realise i dunno wad i wann to be.. like she said.. some ppl jus study for they hav no idea wad they wann in life.. so they study for the sake of it.. i mean so many times we hav had compos to write on <> or <>.. but i mean who cares right?.. everyone's aiming for the best.. whose ambition is to be a toilet bowl scrubber?..
rubbish. why on earth am i engaging myself in such a topic as AMBITION =.= .. whr's life?.. searching for my life..
i cant stand pro-C ppl. yes.
wadd a depressing entry..
ok nvm.
maybe all you readers should hav jus clicked the X long ago.
or maybe not.
here comes the happier part.
yah.. and since its teacher's day and everything.. nice ppl like us got some stuff for coach which sent him smiling from ear to ear.. and some of us while doing singles drills caught him reading our card by the bench and grinning to himself.. lols. um chio..
ehmx yea.. and trg ended in a twinkle of an eye. time always passes by in such an instant on trg days.. sigh.. how i wish we could jus let time stop there and then. not during pt but during match time.. cool. looking forward to the day when we hav an improvised team. wad should be our benchmark?..
and don we wonder at times.. is all that we hav done worth our efforts?.. jus like hb.. aimlessly hoping for a miracle when it's so clearly shown wad the future brings.. though the 0.01% of possibility could become factual..
"i did it jus so she would be happy.. y must she do this to me?." hmx.. true. how noble.. ><
facing tomoro with trepidation.
